So, I decided that maybe I should write about something a little different...
I'm feeling like I just need to write something, you know? I just got a pretty big hit from a really close friend of mine (no need to say who it is, that wouldn't be fair). This is, after all, my blog, so I have grounds to say what I want to. Hell, not a whole lot of people look at this blog anyways (probably because I haven't written anything in forever, haha), so what the hell.
Friendship is tough. You have to put a lot into a friendship in order for it to work out. You put yourself completely on the line. You entrust secrets to them, you open up and let them see who you really are. Some friends you'll have forever, and some you won't. Some friends will just sort of fade away into the background and others will stick around forever. I'd love to think that all of my friends will be there forever. I'd love to think that the same five guys I've always wanted as my best men will be standing on the altar with me when I eventually get married. This may or may not happen, but we'll see. Some times though, friends surprise you. Some times friends don't trust you as much as you trust them; some times they don't open as much as you do; some times they keep things from you. Friends are great, but they also leave you incredibly vulnerable. Out of all the people I have met in my life time, (friends, family, enemies, etc) out of all of those people, if anyone wanted to hurt me, wanted to destroy my life as I know it, my friends could do it. As much as I hate to do it, I have to quote Jimmy Fallon:
"'Okay, I got it beat, I got it beat. My buddy from high school is coming up, he's going too be my room mate, it's going to be awesome.' No, that is never awesome, it doesn't work out. Hate to tell you, you will fight each other. You will just get, you will get, I'll tell you why. One reason is because they have too much dirt on you. Your friend from home has too much dirt on you, they'll kill you, they'll crush you in an argument for no reason. Like, you just say, 'Hey man, uh, these dishes have been in the sink for like two weeks man, and they're your dishes. Are you going to clean them?' 'Yeah, remember when you had crabs in sixth grade?'"
I'd also like to note really quick that I had to re-write those lyrics out because the person who originally typed them up is by far the epitome of bad grammar and spelling (I literally threw up when I read it. "Literally? Well, no, not literally. That's disgusting.") Check it out here. Friends, if they wanted to, could crush you. I know I've done it before and I know my friends have done it to me. Its fun sometimes. You have that trust with each other. Its nice to know that you have just as much dirt on your friends as they do on you. It's sort of what I've always thought about sleeping with a boyfriend or girlfriend or something. You are most vulnerable when you're sleeping and I just think its great for two people to trust each other enough to be in their most vulnerable state with one another.
Sometimes friends can really hurt you though. Whether its intentional or not, it happens. Some times they're just trying to defend themselves; makes sense, survival of the fittest, I guess. You have to try to remember those good times you had though. I know its hard to forgive and forget, but it will happen eventually. Right now what I'm dealing with is that I'm trying to remember the good times, but after what has happened, I'm starting to think, "Were those really good times or were they just good times to me?" You have to think that if something goes wrong in a friendship, when did it happen? When you're blindsided by something like that you have to think, "Have they felt this way from a few days? Weeks? Months? Years?" Stuff like that is tough to deal with because then you start questioning how real the friendship is/was. As of right now, luckily, I'm not second guessing the entire friendship and I hope I don't get to that point.
Anyway, we'll see what happens with this whole ordeal. Hopefully it will work out and what I've said will get through and won't have too much damage. I tried to be as fair as possible in what I said, saying what I needed to without sugar coating it or being mean.
Within the next week I hope to write a few things on here. I have a post in waiting about three different things: American History X, Breaking Bad, and Bioshock 2. I also want to write a few music reviews about a couple of albums. The first is the new The Black Keys album, "Brothers." The second is The Noisette's "Wild Young Hearts." Within this month, I want to write another "Guilty Pleasures" post because I've come up with a few more. This month is almost up, so that will hopefully be within the week too. Thanks for reading.
-Hugh
